For those who already know me for a bit, you might know that I've got a bad habit.
Yes, you got it right, I'm a smoker.
Well I'm not exactly the true blue definition of a chimney, or a keretapi, or a hardcore chain smoker, but I smoke enough sticks to know that smoking can cause hell a lot problems (be it health, mental, relationship wise or financial wise) to a person. Word's like 'Ciggie break!' and 'Eh Stress la, jom' have been mumbled out by me, habitually, on a daily basis, for the past 5 years.
After numerous failed attempts of not smoking for a period of time, this is by far my personal best - 20 days, clean. No cigarettes in the middle of a sleepless night, no cigarettes halfway through a stressful situation, no 'just one cigarette a day' - nothing, zero. Gosh, who would've thought I'd be able to last so long.
You would've noticed that I did not use a single word that resembles the meaning 'quit' in this post. Yeap, I ain't quitting, I ain't anything-ing, I'm just not smoking for a period of time - Peeps are telling me that I'm smart by leaving myself a way out tho. *Sheesh* :P Well, the fact is I went through an article and thinks that it really make sense - "Don't take this process as dumping the habit forever, it'll spook the shit out of you. Instead, take it as an everyday process, one day at a time" Well, I did it 20 times. What say you, macha?
Ok, cut the crap, that's not what I wanted to share. What I wanna blog about today is, in fact, what the title suggests, literally. You guys out there should be familiar with whatever that happens when you DO smoke, isn't it? Heck, I think Jason Mraz has been repeating it on the radio as many times as "I'm your's" was played, till we're sick of it :P
But, do you know what happens when you DON'T smoke for a period of time? Well, allow me to share it with you, all the shit that happened (at least to me) within the first few days.
1. Ciggie cravingsRemember those times where you where doodling halfway at work or school? Then the image of a krispy kreme donut or a freaking cheeseburger appears out of no where in your mind and you can literally taste it in your mouth? Salivating d? Ok good. Take that mental image, amplify it by 1000, and change that pleasent filling into an unpleasent one, and bring it up to an OMGWTFBBQKNNCCB level. That's what I felt.
2. Quitter's fluRemember the last time you're down with a mild flu? You're not sick enough to skip school / work. Yet you're not well enough to work. Irritating ain't it? Throw in a free dosage of eye itchiness and throat irritation, that's quitter's flu. Fortunately for me, it wasn't that bad, it was bearable and it only lasted for a few days. Pift
3. Irritable, crankyOk. This I think everybody can relate to. Similar to the days where you wake up in the morning, look at your clock realising you're late for work. Then, you fall from your bed. After that, you walk into your toilet and find that you're out of toothpaste and mouthwash. Then you bath only to have your water cut right after you apply body shampoo. Then you walk ouf of the toilet realising your dog pooped on your working clothes. Tulan or not? Yea, I think you get the feeling. Enough said. These crankiness usually last for about 3 weeks or so, and I'm still feeling it, up till now, but it's getting better, note the smiley's :) :) :) :) I guess it's your body's way of showing you that it's pissed coz you're not giving it it's happy sticks.
4. FatigueThe initial few days was bad. Was practically a walking zombie. I went to work as usual, socialized as usual (lucky for that, that really gave me a boost). But I was constantly in a fatigued state. And mind you, fatigue and tired is different. Fatigue sucks big time :(
5. InsomniaTo add on to the wonders that fatigue does to you. I experienced a slight insomnia. I could sleep, just that it was hard to, and the quality of sleep, for about 2 weeks, was bad, real bad. I experienced body aches to the extend that I would've traded my car for an ogawa massage chair in my room, my office, and, erm, practically everywhere I was. Ok, maybe not.
Other crappy stuff that would usually happen to general smokers when they don't smoke (some applies to me, some fortunately don't) includes:
Sore throat, headache (Check), Inability to concentrate (Check), Upset stomach (Check), dry mouth, sore tongue / gums, postnasal drip, tightness in chest, yada yada yada.
You might be asking, why bother going through so much of these kinda crappy feelings if it's THAT hard?
2 reasons:
#1 Nicotine Slavery:
...smokers like the feeling they get when the nicotine level in their bloodstream is replenished. From the time a cigarette is stubbed out until the next one is lit, smokers are in a state of physical withdrawal from nicotine. The more time between cigarettes, the more severe the withdrawal, resulting in edginess, inability to concentrate, and even feelings of depression. It's a vicious, neverending cycle.
And that is addiction, folks, not smoking enjoyment.Fuck you, slavery, fuck you.
#2 Myself
Despite the temporary shit that I've been going through. I feel better, by the day. As in seriously, better. I eat better (you guys should so check out the way I eat), I sleep better, I feel more energetic (I can feel this gradually building up), I've gained some healthy weight, yada yada yada. IMHO, the hardest part is not going through the withdrawal symptoms. The hardest part is, in fact, breaking the habit of lighting up a cigarette.
So, kawan, apa macam? Nak, ker tak nak?
Disclaimer: These descriptions are a personalized version of my own. It may vary between individuals with different brain sizes and IQ levels. Please don't sue me, I tarak duit.Credits of the information provided in this page goes to About.com
The Birthday girl with her jakun birthday pose. Muahaha!
Teh Food
The fun (and scary) peeps that were there that night
The spastic version of us. Can you spot the difference? ;)
Happy Birthday Kel Li! May you be blessed with smiles, laughter, and happiness for always and always. Have a blast! Cheers!
